Seven Pages of Solitude

This is a piece I wrote for the wedding of my wonderful (and now wonderfully married) friends Ben and Jessica:

Rainer Maria Rilke wrote “Love consists in this: that two solitudes protect and touch and greet each other.

I agree with him. I have come to believe that we each are, at heart, solitary creatures. In the deepest places we are solo in our humanity. We stand apart from all others to sort through our experience of life.

But I also believe that this adventure of life is mostly so that we can learn to unite our solitary hearts with others. It is about learning to mix our shades of solitude together; to be unashamed of the new colors that appear when we learn to protect and touch and greet each other.

This sort of love has been pondered and written about since the beginning of time. It will never get old to try to parse out the mystery of two becoming one – the beffudlement of how solitude lays the foundation for being together.

This love is mysterious in theory, but in its manifest reality it is not. There is nothing mysterious about pilow talk, afternoon walks, passion-filled nights or cuddling by a fire. It is not mysterious because it is necessary, even when it hurts.

This is how we color our worlds in: the secret of mixing people is the same as mixing colors, and there would be no life without it. This is what I wish for you, Ben and Jess: that you would be relentless about mixing your colors and unifying your solitudes.

Your love is a unique color that the world – and our worlds – cannot do without.